The worst monday ever would probably be the monday of daylight savings time and when you got to work or school you had to watch a power point presentation but not a good one like a boring one where you can't even read the text because it's so small and the background is bright yellow and the text is neon green and it's about something awfully boring like how to use Quicken or something and the person talking is talking REALLY slow and they have a terribly annoying voice and you are sitting right in front of the clock and then the clock breaks so you don't even know what time and then he starts eating and talking at the same time and he starts spitting everywhere and some lands on your backpack but you can't do anything because that crazy teacher is standing right behind you and is REALLY enjoying this presentation. Anyway you decide to risk it and wipe the quicken guy's spit off your backpack, but then then crazy teacher FLIPS OUT and makes you sit in a classroom with no one in it and they force you to listen to public radio from a small town in the middle of Montana or something where the guy talking has an even more annoying voice then the quicken guy and the background music is of this obscure music no one has heard of because it is so bad, but then it gets worse because then they start talking about who sponsored the program and how the Walt. E. Phish foundation and the Robert and Phyllis foundation and the public radio foundation, foundation (dedicated to finding foundations) all sponsored the program. So then after you're done with that nightmare you try to get on bart but then the driver closes the door right as you are about to get in so then you wait for like 15 minutes and then you finally get into bart but then the only seat there is is like covered in some weird solid/liquid substance so you just decide to stand but then you realize you are standing in it so now those shoes you just bought for like 99 cents at the 99 cent store are ruined and now you have to go BACK to the 99 cent store and be passive aggressive pay them with exactly 98 cents so they have to count every single cent and then you pretend you forgot the last cent so they give it to you anyway for 1 cent less and you feel good about yourself. But now you have to do it again because your shoes are dirty so when the bart finally gets to the transfer station after an hour delay you run to get the transfer but your shoes are sticky and gross and that substance gets flinged into your face and it is disgusting and you still try to catch the bart but you dropped your phone which breaks so you pick it up and you want to kill someone and then to top it all of the bart driver closes the door in your face AGAIN and the worst part is that that is the last bart and now you have no phone, no shoes, no sanity, and you are stranded. In fact the only thing you have is a superficial understanding of Quicken and what some guy who works in public radio in Minnesota thinks about life.



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